A year ago, I would have said: Someone who loves me. Now I realize that I need to be loved in a very specific way because I’m a individual. You can’t love me the way you THINK I need to be loved. Or you can love me in the way that is most convenient for you. Your love can’t come with conditions about how I should behave. You must agree to love ME the way that I require. And the ability to do that is not actually what love is. That ability to treat someone within their boundaries is what Respect is. And how can you not love someone who Respects you? Respect is about acknowledging the inherent quality of someone. It puts them in a position where their thoughts have value to you. Respect is shown externally and felt internally. You will naturally do things for people you RESPECT that you may not just on love alone.

”

— Jaki Grier, on which qualities to look for in a lover